Better Than Cadbury's
by cake-error
Summary: America and England get in an argument over something stupid that England said. Fluff and lame jokes involving France included. You have been warned.
1. Chapter 1

**Better Than Cadbury's**, a USUK fanfic.

**Pairings:** USUK [notice how that spells "you suck?" I don't mean it!] (already established), and basically everyone else but France. Everyone else who doesn't show up doesn't count, and I'm too lazy to count them. Meh.

**Summary:** The two…lovers *blushes tsundere-ly and gets shot* get into an argument over something England said…and then they have fun. (France made me say that)

**Warnings-rated M for:** yaoi, lots of fluffles and kissing. X\ Ech. Francis rejoices. He forced me to!

**A/N:** This story takes place at Christmas, and I wrote this in July on Poland's birthday. *facepalms and dies in tsundere cave* Anyways…I thought of this, along with "YAOI Alert" and "A Trapped Cupid," when I was almost asleep. So ignore the fact that the story sucks. ;)

* * *

America stood awkwardly in front of England. It was still two days to Christmas, and people were already handing out presents. Italy smiled beatifically when Germany handed him a present, and Germany was almost as red as a tomato-Romano beat him narrowly when Spain hugged him from behind and presented him with a large, beautifully wrapped box.

Before England's attention could be drawn away from the man standing in front of him (by Canada dropping Kumajiro after Gilbert suddenly shoved a present at him and kissed him), America said, "If you could have anything, what would you wish for Christmas, then?" He looked ready to say something else, but didn't.

England thought. "How about Cadbury's back, then?" He replied flippantly.

America's face fell imperceptibly. "I suppose I can't do anything about your Christmas present, then. I _had_ a present in mind, but apparently you wouldn't like it."

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," he shot back. He averted his eyes and his features didn't fall back into its usual smile. Troubled, England turned from his lover and watched Austria gap at Hungary's gift of a photo album (of activities), and Sealand hold Seychelles' hand awkwardly under mistletoe (that France had placed [of course]). Greece had his usual sleepily blissful smile on as he held a blushing Japan, and Russia handed a box of extra smalls to China, who turned red and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly while stuttering mumbled thanks.

The crowd slowly dispersed. "There won't be any meetings because of Christmas-ah! Feliciano!-" Italy had thrown his arms around his waist, and he blushed-"-uhm…so we'll have winter break, and we come back on January sixteenth."

England sighed and started towards the door. He looked around for America's tall familiar form, but the only people in front of him were Japan and Hungary (who were chattering away about camera memory cards).

Snow began to gently drift down.

"It's Christmas…" America paced busily across the smooth floor of his front hall, toying with a red bow. It was utterly silent…except for-

DING.

DING.

DING.

Mumbling something incoherently under his breath, he moved to answer the door. A breathless, red cheeked, and snow covered England stood in the doorway.

"Merry Christmas." He blushed and stepped over the threshold. America answered with a (rather cute, but still managing to scare the sh!t out of him) Russia smile.

Still shivering slightly, England shut the door behind him and waited for him to speak.

It was silent again.

He simply placed a chocolate bar on England's head and stalked off into the living room. England took the plastic wrapped confection and read the label.

_Cadbury's_.

He laughed quietly and set the chocolate bar down on a bench. "Are you still mad at me about that?" A pair of warm arms wrapped around his thin frame. "Are you seriously mad about something that stupid?"

He felt America smile against his shoulder and gently pull him towards the couch.

"Do you want your real present?"

"I hope you didn't talk to France." He said with a touch of apprehension.

Laughing slightly, he took the bow and placed it on his head. England stared at him as if he had sprouted another arm.

A frown tugged at the corners of his lips. "You don't get it?" England shook his head. "I'm your present. Is it clear now?"

England's eyes widened, and his face burned red. "Oh."

"You are cute when you do that, you know?" He expertly dodged a halfhearted whack and settled back on the couch. "Since I am your present…I will do whatever you want me to." Wrapping his arms around him, he buried his face in his hair. England squirmed slightly, turning his face towards America's. He obliged the shorter man and leaned towards him…

Snow fell gently outside the window. Tendrils of ice spun across the glass, behind the thick curtains in his bedroom. His arms clutched tighter around America reflexively.

"Are you okay?" America mumbled into his hair. His blonde hair tickled his neck, and he shuddered delicately as he shook his head.

Tightening his arms and pulling the quilt over them, he smiled.

Christmas was awesome.

* * *

**A/N:** Ugh, this turned out so much flufflier than I thought. And so mushy and lovey-dovey! I need some strong tea. Igiko out~!

I just realized how embarrassing these things are that I do to my favorite character…and I am Igiko…OTL, I am such a BAKA!

But I speak French. Let me demonstrate my prowess!

_Je suis bête et méchante. Euh, je ne sais pas français bien…au revoir!_

I just said "I am stupid and mean. Uh, I don't know French well….until we meet again!" See what I did there? Ooh, fancy.

I'm rambling…'m j'st g'nna l've n'w. (SU-SAN ATTACK! It's super effective!)

Peace! Reviews are loved! Up next: some crappy jokes that I thought of when I was half asleep. (I thought of this whole thing when I was half asleep anyways…I am half asleep today anyway…I'm listening to Science by The Birthday Massacre…I'm rambling yet again…but now in parentheses…ugh. NEED. SLEEP.)

Bye, y'all! Coming up next (on the grand scheme of things): YAOI Alert, and A Trapped Cupid. (I thought of both of these the same night I thought of this one. I was half asleep. Explains the lameness. Meh.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Now, some random perverted jokes! (involving France, and HUngary. 'Nuff said.)**

* * *

The window in the living room smashed open. America and England disentangled themselves from each other and stared in horror as France stood up and began waving frantically.

"I hope you two are enjoying your Christmas!" England blushed and crossed his arms.

France smiled and flipped on the radio.

"…_I gotta feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night, that tonight's gonna be a good night, that tonight's gonna be a good, good night…"_

Winking perversely, France gave them a supercilious smirk. Eyes widening in rage and embarrassment, England punched him in th face and threw him back out the window.

He turned towards the couch, only to be spun around by a pair of hands and crushed to America's chest.

"Where were we then…?" He breathed onto England's neck, making him shiver.

"I think you know better than I do…"

* * *

Eww, that was creepy! I'm going to write another joke. It will be less France-y…possibly Hungary. Maybe Japan. Meh. I am so weird and messed up…AND NO ENGLAND IS NOT HIS DAD! OR BROTHER! NOES! IT'S NOT INCEST! GAHH!

* * *

Hungary crouched behind the door. Her new camera from Japan was working amazingly well. And this was amazing. But of course it couldn't last. Austria came up behind her. "What are you doing, Hungary? I told you not to go around people's houses and-" His jaw fell to the floor.

Stuttering and backing up, he backed into Italy, who had unfortunately tagged along.

"Ve, Austria, what are you watching? Oh, hi, Hungary! What-" Germany was close behind him, and turned red as soon as he saw everything. "Ve, Doitsu, this is like that one video-" Germany clamped his hand over his mouth and dragged him back.

"Ve, but I want to watch! I didn't finish that video before-"

"What is that supposed to mean, Italy?" He turned around and found himself face to face with Prussia.

"Ahahahah, this is funny! West, where are you going? Stop hitting me!"

Hungary turned, face alight with rage, and promptly walloped him with a frying pan. Rubbing his head, Prussia moaned, "What was that for?"

"Shut up!" Everyone turned toward the door. America and England sat perfectly still in the bed.

"Do you want to murder them for me, America?"

"It would be my pleasure."

And everyone knows that a deranged, furious, America (with England cheering on the side) is a force to be reckoned with. So it wasn't really surprising when everyone ran.

* * *

THE ENDZ~! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH~! *deranged Russia cackle*

Uhm...yeah. The end. So...if you have any jokes feel free to submit? I guess? Meh.


End file.
